Others Are To Blame
One of the most common games people play with themselves is to think that the reason why they’re facing setbacks is because others have it in for them.
Maybe these other people were sabotaging them, maybe they were just negligent. Whatever the case may be, the reason why you’re failing is because of other people. This also applies to situations beyond your control.
This is very comforting for many people. After all, this thinking reduces people into victims. Victims are sympathetic. People have a natural tendency to favor the underdog. Who doesn’t want to be the underdog? Who doesn’t want to have the natural sympathy of the crowd? The problem is that playing the victim comes at a very high price.
You have to get rid of this mindset roadblock because the moment you blame other people for your failure, you’re giving them the power to fix your situation.
If somebody or a situation is to blame, then it necessarily follows that they have to fix your situation because they caused the problem in the first place. They broke your life, so they must contain the solution to whatever it is you’re suffering from. Do you see how this leaves you powerless?
You can’t control those people or situations. Since you can’t control these people and your past, you aren’t going to be handed the solution to your situation. That’s just not going to happen. Everybody’s got enough problems of their own. They can’t be bothered with yours.
This is why you have to let go of blaming others for your disappointments. Otherwise, you’ll continue to fight battles of the past. You’ll continue to re-enact certain situations in your mind and engaging in all sorts of ‘could have, would have, should have’ games with yourself.
You end up feeling stuck. Sure, you want to move on. You understand that it’s important. But the more you dwell on the past, moving on becomes nearly impossible.
You have to get to the place where you are fed up with the way things are and refuse to let your past dictate your future any longer.