This is probably the most important section of this lesson. Unless you refuse to live in the past, dwelling on your mistakes you are going to be stuck or at best move forward at a very slow pace. Once you realize you are going to make mistakes you need to own up to them when you make them, help others to avoid them, get the knowledge to limit mistakes in the future and then move on. Helping others is a big part of moving on because there is a certain amount of “therapy” that happens to you when you help others.
Everyone has Regrets
Everyone is going to have some regrets. You may have made a mistake with your career, or you passed on “the one who got away.” Whatever it may be, there is nothing that can be done about those regrets. So move on.
Many people get stuck in the past, and it can cripple them from living a quality life. They continue to bring up events that have happened, and some even use it as an excuse to feel sorry for themselves. When this happens, they will not progress in their lives. It can get so bad they even start to take on negative behaviors such as heavy alcohol use or drugs. Once this happens, it can be difficult to break this habit.
If someone close to you passes on and you have regrets about your life together, realize they would want you to move on. They aren’t coming back. Instead of thinking about those regrets, think about the good times you shared. It is an excellent idea, in a case like this, to recall what you may have learned from that person.
I was an only child and my Dad and I were close so when he passed away it was extremely difficult for me to “suck it up and move on”. What got me through it, besides my relationship with Jesus, was when I started thinking about the things I learned from him and then apply those things to help others. Focusing on my regrets about the opportunities I missed with him would have kept me from ever being happy again.
Reflect but Don’t Live There
It is okay to reflect on regrets and determine what you did wrong. This can help you not to repeat what you have done. The key is not to make the regrets the central part of your life. Don’t let them define you. Recognize the wrongs and apologize for them, even if to yourself. Then, chart out a course that puts you on the path to happiness.
A lot of people teach using affirmations to help get over your regrets and that is a wonderful idea. My only concern is where you get the affirmations.
The last thing I want to mention is something personal I still have to walk through myself so bear with me just a bit longer.
My oldest daughter died of cancer while I was on the mission field in Italy. My wife and I flew back to the US because she wanted me to officiate at her funeral. Can I tell you God does not design us to bury our children and preaching the message at her funeral was the hardest thing I had ever done?
That kind of hurt never goes away completely it just gets less as time goes by. I still think about things I should have done with her, things I should have been there for her for and, mistakes I made during her life. However, I do not dwell on those things, I choose to dwell on the good times we had and sooner or later those regrets slip back to the backside of my brain, at least for a while.
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